Saturday, April 2, 2011

too soon. compiled facts.

and they say, you have spoken too soon. yep. Thats what happen. I spoke too soon and then there's drops of water on the ground. I ask myself, whats that? and then I felt it running down my cheeks. My tears flow down and I found myself kneeling on the ground holding the pressure inside but it still continue on pouring. The tense inside, it hurts and its bringing me down, dissolving all the sweetness life had ever brought me. Then I thought to myself, the last time this happen was years ago and I still have that picture pinned inside my heart. 

I don't find any reason for me to wipe that tears off my face again. I am not brave enough to continue and then crumble into pieces over and over again. Its more than I can bear. Its easier to put on a sad mourning face than that Fake smiling one. Thats a mask I wouldn't score 100% using.

#35096). I'm moving on. I'm forgetting everything and i'm moving on. I deserve to be happy. Everyone deserves to be happy. I'm not going to stop you being happy anymore. And i'm not going to let you stop me from being happy. This is it. I'm making this change for good.

#35092). It sucks that i have to avoid certain places to avoid seeing you. I want my life back.

#35088). Sometimes I wish this year was all just a horrible nightmare and that it is just a dream that I could wake up from. But I can't because it's real life.

#35076). I do not know what I would ever do without you. You mean everything to me. Yet you hurt me ever so often, and I never say a word. Your words hurt like knives and i'm still hanging on to you, because I love you infinitely.

#35078). I really can't stand how you treat me. I put so much effort into being a good friend to you, and you don't give a shit at all. So, why can't I just forget you? I don't know. I really don't. But I need to so bad.

#35072). I want to forget you and your lies.

#35069). Do you know that I am SO close to giving up on love because of you?

#35067). please, please, please don't be in love with someone else. and please don't be leading me on. I don't think i could take losing you.

#35056). Everyone thinks that they know me. That they have seen me cry and get angry. But no one has ever seen me sob for days upon days and get so angry that I break everything within reach. All I want is for someone to come along, see the real me, and stay.

#35045). I fight the urge to talk to you everyday. I want to talk to you but i know you don't want me in your life anymore. I will never be okay with that.

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