Tuesday, May 17, 2011

all these years

It’s Tuesday. It’s hard watching you go like that. And when I started questioning myself for not crying, the tears dropped on the naked bed of mine. Sometimes I wonder,  why is it hard to say something nice like forgive my mistakes or I’m going to miss you or the simplest I am sorry for causing misery along the way

Maybe I have pinned it in my head that things have changed since the first day we met and maybe you’ve gave up on me like I’ve given up on the things that’d happen.

I’m only a small person, I’ve put my ego way too high just to watch myself crumble down and cry at the end of the day. For the first time I feel like this is going to be a long time for us to be in our comfort zone.

While I’m lying here writing this, I wonder what you’re doing. He’s out dating another girl again tonight, and the other guy is finally having his dinner after the company’s car broke down somewhere along the highway.

I needed to blog this because only now I’d have these feelings. By the time I wake up in the morning, I’d be chasing taxi and train to meet him. Even if we meet somewhere outside town, I’d be the same old me that you know and no, without this feelings I felt while blogging this.  So, before I forgot I’d like to say thisI've always looked up to you capability in becoming someone big in the future. I am envious of every single thing you do because you are 50% better than what I stand for. I respect how you gave a person space to realise their mistakes and to look beyond what situation have given them, to forgive and to know when it’s time to let go. I am grateful to have found you. Thank you for every detail we shared.

Don't worry, you're gonna be just fine out there. You're a great person.

1 comment:

Fadzmie said...

Bawa bersabar banyak-banyak ya. :)

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