Sunday, November 18, 2012

Starlight, Star Bright

When I was 5 years old, I took an extremely liking to my sister's toys. It made a little difference that I had a trunk overflowing with dolls and toys of my own. Her "big girl" treasure were much easier to break, and much more appealing. Likewise, when I was 10 and she was 12, her earrings and make up that she was slowly being permitted to experiment with held my attention, while my former obsession with catching bugs seems to be a distant and fading memory.

It was a trend that continued year by year and, except for a few bruises and threats of terrifying "haircuts" while I was sleeping, one that my sister handled with tolerance. My mother continually reminded her, that it was actually a compliment of her sense of style. She told her, as I started my first day of high school wearing her clothes, that one day she would laugh and remind me how she was always the cooler one of the two of us.
I had always thought that my sister had good taste, but never more than when she started bringing home guys. I had a constant parade of sixteen-year-old boys going through my house, stuffing themselves with foods in the kitchen, or playing basketball on the driveway.

I had recently become aware that boys, in fact, weren't as "icky" as I had previously thought, and that maybe their cooties weren't such a terrible thing to catch after all. But the freshman guys who were my age, whom I had spent months giggling over at football games with my friends, suddenly seems so young. They couldn't drive and they didn't wear varsity jackets. My sister's friends were tall, they were funny, and even though my sister was persistent in getting rid of me quickly, they were always nice to me as she pushed my out the door.

Every once in a while I would luck out, and they would stop by when she wasn't home. One in particular would have long conversation with me before leaving to do whatever a sixteen-year-old boys did ( it was still a mystery to me). He talked to me as he talked to everyone else, not like a kid, not like his friend's sister... and he always hugged me good-bye before he left.

It wasn't surprising that before long I was positively giddy about him. My friends told me I had no chance with a junior. My sister looked concerned with my potentially broken heart. But you can't help, who it is that you fall in love with, whether they are older or younger, taller or shorter, completely opposite or just like you. Emotion ran me over like a Mack truck when I was with him, and I knew that it was too late to try to be sensible - I was in love.

It didn't mean I didn't realize the possibility of being rejected. I knew I was taking a big chance with my feelings and pride. If I didn't give him my heart there was no possibility that he would break it... but there was also no chance that me might not.

One night before he left, we sat on my front porch talking and looking for stars as they came visible. He looked at me quite seriously and asked me if I believed in wishing on stars. Surprised, but as curious, I told him I had never did.

"Well, then it's time you start," he said, and pointed to the sky. "Pick one out and wish for whatever you want the most." I looked and picked out the brightest star I could find. I squeezed my eyes shut and with what felt like an entire colony of butterflies in my stomach, I wished for courage. I opened my eyes and saw him smiling as he watch my tremendous wishing effort. He asked what I wished for, and when I replied, he looked puzzled. "courage? For what?" he questioned.

I took one last deep breath and replied, "To do this." And I kissed him - all driver's-licence-holding, varsity-jacket-wearing, sixteen years of him. It was bravery I didn't know I had, strength I owed completely to my heart, which gave up to my mind and took over.

When I pulled back, I saw the astonished look in his face, a look that turned into a smile and then laughter. After searching for something to say for what seemed to me like hours, he took my hand and said,"well, I guess we're lucky tonight. Both our wishes came true."

by Kelly Garnett


Gee said...

I love this post. Is it a true story? hehe..

aestherlyienda said...

yes, a true story =B